Developing a plan of self-care involves thinking about ways to care for yourself on days when you might feel particularly stressed or worn down. Short-term goals focus on the fast and relatively easy ways that you can soothe yourself and replenish your energy. We call these strategies “the quick wins.”

Putting the brakes on

Family members identified these short-term strategies that helped them ease their anxiety for a moment so they could face their situation with renewed energy:

  • Have your morning coffee.
  • Talk to someone you trust.
  • Hug your pet.
  • Take a deep breath.
  • Take a timeout.
  • Take a long, hot shower.
  • Apply your favourite body lotion.
  • Watch your favourite TV show.
  • Sit in your backyard after dinner.
  • Go for a long walk.
  • Become more aware of nature.
  • Go to a movie.
  • Go shopping and treat yourself to something new.
  • Give yourself permission to feel upset and frustrated, and permission to overcome these feelings.
  • Structure your day to ensure it includes leisure time.
  • Think about things that make you feel happy or soothed or comforted and make a note of them so you can remember to add those things to your list of self-care quick wins.

These short-term strategies will be unique to each family member. List the quick wins that might be most helpful for you, and add to your list when something comes up that you find pleasant or re-energizing, such as visiting a flower market.

Strength and forgiveness

Another self-care strategy involves recognizing and having appreciation for your own personal strengths. This can take a great deal of practice. We can be very hard on ourselves. We can also start to focus on what we think we are doing wrong, instead of right, particularly where it concerns family members who are ill. In fact, it can be much harder to suffer the illness of someone you love than to suffer the illness yourself.

It is essential to keep a sense of yourself as a person independent of your relationship to your relative with the illness. Acknowledging your strengths and giving yourself permission to be human may involve learning to think in new ways about your circumstances. For example, acknowledging positive aspects about yourself—such as intelligence, a good sense of humour, perseverance, motivation, physical abilities—is particularly important when you are stressed. You can practise this type of thinking every time you become overwhelmed with guilt or hopelessness.

Positive self-talk

One way to learn to think about your situation in new ways is by using self-talk. For example, tell yourself, “I am doing the very best I can. I’m only human. I am a caring and loving mother.” Letting yourself experience all of your feelings is extremely important when you are coping with difficult circumstances.

Source- CAMH